My eldest son would have turned 14 this month, but we Iost him to a rare cancer in 2007, short of his 11th birthday.
Not a day, not an hour, goes by without me thinking of all the things that should have been, and now won't be. All the things he told me he was going to do, while knowing, I think, in his way, that he would never have the chance.
Some people have intellectual reasons for believing there is no god. Very well-thought out ones.
But I just know.
Like a lot of people... I just know.
Where we go afterwards, I guess we'll find out. Or not.
When I was young I wanted to live forever. Now I see it all as a season. When the days grow short in mine, I won't complain.
I've had a glorious childhood, grew up in the only continent to become one country, lived in an ancient exotic land, married a wonderful woman, been a father three times, trained to fight for fun, known complete peace. It can't get much better than this.
As a child of half-Japanese heritage my son had a particular liking for anime and manga (Japanese comics). This is a song we played at his funeral. It's by an Australian artist called Colin Hay.
By chance someone put in on YouTube with some manga frames that are... oddly... apt.
I don't usually post personal stuff, but... anyway.
Don't feel you have to comment. This is just an outlet. And it's a good song.
I'm so sorry my friend. It's been a kinda emotional day for me and this story of your son has me in tears. I can not imagine with all my might losing a child, watching them drift away, feeling the fear they must have. It just breaks my heart Magpie, it just kills me.. I hope you and your famiy have found some peace... xo
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to respond. I just want you to know that I feel so profoundly for you and your family. Your simple tender words have broen my heart. We have always heard that time heals, but in the case of losing a child, I don't think it can.
ReplyDelete"Some people have intellectual reasons for believing there is no god. Very well-thought out ones.
But I just know.
Like a lot of people... I just know.
Where we go afterwards, I guess we'll find out. Or not."
I hear. Cyber hugs.
"been a father three times"
ReplyDeleteAnd a damned good one my friend.
Thanks for your kind words everyone.
ReplyDeleteMagpie, my first time here, this post just caught my attention. Please accept my condolences for your profound loss ... after this passage of time.
ReplyDeleteI too am a father of three, and I could not imagine what it feels like to lose a precious child.
Thank you Octopus. Hope to see you here again.
ReplyDeleteDear magpie,
ReplyDeleteJust read this post after reading Boomer's touching poem. My heart goes out to you and your family. There's not much else I can say except to quote WB Yeats' beautiful poem "The Lake Isle of Innisfree:
"I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the mourning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.
I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart's core."
That's a nice poem. Thank you, and welcome to my blog.
ReplyDelete